Monday, August 17

First Crush

I was in form 2, he was in form 3.. Let's call him M - truthfully, I have forgotten his name.. so M is just a random letter.. I first saw him at our school's hall.. He's the conductor of choral speaking team.. to be precise English Choral Speaking Team.. they will be presenting our school at I have no idea which level, state or district?

His English is good, damn good I must say.. He's cute, chinese look.. tall and cute! I felt a lil bit intimidating, because being a chubby kid (really chubby) and late bloomers.. I have nothing to feel good about. I'm fat with no rack & no butt.. not flat, just like a good cengal/meranti log? I didn't make any move/hint watsoeva, bcoz I'm too afraid I guess.

One fine day, I was cycling with my bestfren, S around her neighborhood.. And I saw M in front of this one particular home.. I assume it is his.. hehehe.. What did I do with that information? I do nothing except that road in front of his house become my regular cycling route.. gatal kan? Ouh, i didnt tell anybody that I like M, even my bestfren S. Just keep quiet hoping one day he likes me too perhaps?

Few weeks later, when I was walking with S to school's canteen.. We are stopped by M.. wah! control macho la I.. suddenly he started talking to S about how he adores her, how he likes to befriend with he.. etc ect.. u know the drill! Sedeh tak terkata.. hati hancur berderai, remuk redam, yet muka selamber la.. takkan tetibe nangis kat situ kan?

At home I cried, not that much.. I never blame S.. she doesnt know my feelings towards M.. I didnt blame M either, coz I don't think he notice my existance.. Ouh, I forgot another detail, important one I bet.. S is beautiful (face wise) & body dia juga mengancam.. She's not thin stick, lean body with nice rack & butt!! Basically, there is no surprise so many seniors usha2, ngorat2 dia..

S become friends with M.. in fact she become friends with everybody.. no! she's not a slut.. just friendly.. we are young, I believe that she doesn't want any relationship at early age.. What happened to me then? I just kept everything to myself.. eyeing M from distance

A year later, my PMR result is out.. not a good one, everybody expect me to get straight A's.. I was crying like nobody's business.. menyesal tak sudah.. ouh this time the crying is definitely more intense compared to crying when M make a move to S.. I shed quite a lot during school holiday (sbb frust?)..When I come back to school for registering Form 4, I am totally different person.. I am no longer fat chubby kid..

With leaner body, I have good set of assets.. And good complexion too.. Thanks to Mama introducing me to start using Sabun Susu Kambeng.. fight away all those puberty pimples.. When I'm leaner I realized that I'm a good runner so I was selected to be in Athletics team. Thanks for the everyday training.. now I'm leaner and firmer.. :)

Abang2 senior start noticing me and also I started receiving letter from SA (secret admirer). Ouh, dun get me wrong.. I'm not gatal type of gal.. I didn't have boyfriend when I was in high school.. Learnt my mistake during PMR where I spent most of my time berangan kan.. Ok, frankly I noticed M always look at me! Form4 & form5 block is facing each other and my stairs is exactly in front of his class....vavavavva

My classmate also said that there is a guy who always sat at my table after school looking at my stuff.. I dont care that much coz I only leave text book behind at my table not personal belongings... Day passed by, I received more and more letter in between pages of my textbook.. and he admit that he always usha me specially when I walk at the stairs coz he get the best view from his place when I go up/down the stairs.. mungkinkah M? *hati bunga2*

I started smile and exchange gedik looks everytime I caught M checking me out.. He on the other hand always smile back.. eh, I no longer cycle in front of his house coz I trained at school everyday.. so in the evening I was so tired to cycle around..

One day.. M approached me & said.. His bestfriend really likes me! WTH?? All this while, it was his bestfriend, not himself!!!! Arrrrghhhh.. tensi sekejap.. And his bestfriend have no guts to talk to me by himself? Tulis surat almost everyday boleh pulak? Huh.. First rule as a man, have some dignity.. Make your own move towards a girl, never ask other people to do it..

I refuse politely, after all tader la sesiape saket hati kan coz I stayed single untill I finish my high school.. Get good grade in my SPM.. Currently, I'm still in touch with S, I have no idea what happened to M and my SA - he's one of my friend in my FB. He's engaged... End of story


  1. shweet :p..i tak leh ingat zaman remaja i hihi. byk nooo scandal

  2. waa, flasback yg sangat banyak little detaails, stakat ulang lalu lalang depan umah orang yg kita crushed itu mmg best kan, hahahahaaa.. ala2 dekat dihati...he's the one n only crushed kat skolah menengah ke?.. dulu i kalau crushed or admirer kat orang suka kat outkast or orang yg ada ciri loner atau si janggal, hahahaha, apakah motip, tak suka saingan, namun stelah aku admirer ramai lak SA yg lan akan muncul, menci taw..

    ewah2, tak hapdate kat blog sindri, konker lak kat komen orang lain, muahaha

  3. tini >> wah kalau byk scandal nanti apau terasa lak.. so keep quite bout it, my Uni life pun byk scandal.. tableh crita.. too juicy.. tp dolla tau camana i masa kat Uni
    dalia >> aah, dia surang jer i ske tengok masa skulah menengah.. i kan loyal~ tetibe loyal padahal mamat tuh yg tanak layan i.. hehhe..

  4. jahat tak kalau i cakap i had a really hot best friend (kire i kalah la, minah ni bnyk gila SA sana sini), so i was really flattered when a guy she really liked liked me instead? =P~~~

  5. i think that's normal.. tp depressing kan ada besfren yg hot! mmg kalah